


I Thought I Was A Fool For No One

by asswords



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, more meta than fic, trigger warning for mentions of rape, tw: guns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-02
Updated: 2013-03-02
Packaged: 2017-12-04 01:26:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/704897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asswords/pseuds/asswords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mickey has never ever changed for anyone. He only discovered parts of himself he hadn't known before, that's all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Thought I Was A Fool For No One

**Author's Note:**

> No beta because I'm lazy. Brief, brief mentions of the rape.

Mickey Milkovich has always been hard around the edges. Jagged and fucked up in every South Side expected way. He's got plenty of daddy issues and mommy issues and they're to blame for a lot, but really, so is he. He's seen the Gallagher family and they've go the same problems but they've turned out better for some unknown reason (probably that older sister of theirs). 

But Mickey wants to make it clear that when Ian Gallagher fucked up his world, he spent a long time denity it in fear of his reputation and his dad, but he recognizes this now -- after the Russian "fucked him straight" that Mickey has never ever changed for anyone. He only discovered parts of himself he hadn't known before, that's all.

Mickey's still hard around the edges, and there's no way in fucking hell that means he's soft on the inside. He's not. He's not one thing. He's not even two things. But trying to unlearn the way a redhead's smirk could be gentle and how he knows when to be casual, when to be funny, when to leave Mickey the fuck alone, is like trying to say Mickey is a piece of chocolate cake. 

It's been a week since he's seen Gallagher, and he's not a pussy to say he  wants to know how he's doing. He's also not stupid, so he's been paying Angie (with what money he had from pawning some of the geriatric viagroid's shit) to say he's been fucking her. She's not a complete idiot, she knows shit's up when he doesn't  _actually_ fuck her. She keeps her mouth shut thought because she tells him she doesn't wanna be in Terry fucking Milkovich's wrath (that, and she likes the money). He doesn't thank her, but he's hoping she knows that he would, if it were something that came naturally to him.

His dad pays more attention to him these days and maybe Mickey fucking wanted this when he was four years old and learning to make messes and pee everywhere, but he'd fucking give anything for it to feel like there's _not_ fucking ants crawling up his back. It happens the most when his dad decides to involve him on more runs with his brothers. He watches his dad kick the teeth out of a faggot curled up in a ball outside a club, he watches his brothers laugh and kick at his stomach. Mickey kicks too but he feels a little sick after. It wasn't the same as beating Lloyd and he knows that's another thing to add to his list of blame for Firecrotch. His brothers leave him at the closest bar where he gets shitfaced and throws up in that same back alley later on; the gay man sits upward now but groans as he tries to move. Mickey walks away but he knows he left something behind in that dark alleyway.

He's shooting his gun under the El when he sees Ian again. It fucks him up a bit in his rounds when he jumps and thinks it's his dad and immeditately aims the gun, only to see he's pointing it at Ian. He lowers it immediately but there's not a breath of relief.

"The fuck are you doing here?" He shouts, frowning at the redhead, who looks like he'd fucking roll his eyes if one wasn't still bruised and healing.

"Linda wants to know if you quit." Ian's obviously holding back and it makes Mickey extremely uncomfortable not because he's waiting for the faggy talk but because he expected that to be first. Gallagher's had no trouble in saying what he ways, so it bothers him when he's  _not_ asking all the questions.

"Me having a job there?"  _With you there?_ Mickey laughs rhetorically. "Get fuckin' real."

Gallagher does his scanning thing he always does with his eyes (he thinks Mickey doesn't know about it). Mickey's bothered by the gaze but he doesn't move an inch, keeps his face neutral and as clear as he can, but he knows Ian will be able to read him anyways. As if the hard edges on Mickey could be untangled with a gentle, firm hand. As if it was as simple for Ian to break him apart as it was for Lip to list the elements of the periodic table.

"You should get the fuck out of my face," Mickey scoffs, defensive and all one big fat fucking lie. He just doesn't want to think about the shit he would have to go down for if his dad even found Ian standing here talking to him.

Firecrotch actually listens to Mickey for once in his goddamn life, but he looks back as he's walking away, with a small smirk on his lips and his blue eyes doing some gay glimmer bullshit.

Mickey hates him so fucking much.

Especially when his lips twitch up the second time Gallagher looks back. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'M SORRY YOU HAD TO READ THAT.
> 
> Wowwww I suck, I wrote it at school and it's short and it's more meta than fic but sigh WHATEVER.


End file.
